A DENTIST'S NIGHTMARE

If you've woken up this morning/afternoon/evening (sort your life out) with a furry mouth, last night's clothes and only a very hazy memory of the night before then I'm sure you're very aware that a blast of minty freshness from that much-needed teeth brushing will at least go some way to making you feel human again.

So I wasn't sure what I felt when I saw this toothpaste:

Surely it'd be like brushing fairy cake icing into your teeth? And would leave you with a dull vanilla-esque taste in the back of your mouth? And just the smell of it would make you retch on hangover days? Not quite the freshness hit you're after. I don't care if it's an ironic toothpaste, I AIN'T BUYING IT.

Oh, they also do bacon-flavoured toothpaste if you're interested. Linda McCartney will be turning in her grave.

If you really feel the need, you can buy it here. I suggest you don't though.