ROBERT DOWNEY JR IS SMOKIN'

Started watching Due Date today (mostly because my Dad has been ranting about how it's a rip-off of Planes, Trains and Automobiles) and realised something. I TOTALLY FANCY ROBERT DOWNEY JR. My penchant lately for crushes on handsome older men is a little awkward seeing as there's none to be found in Dalston. I need to branch out. Can't spend my life pining after Robert, Patrick Dempsey et al.

JU5T MARR1ED

The Royal Wedding yesterday brought a genuine, salty tear to my eye. And made me want to get married and have a massive wedding. (My parents have been advised to start saving. Just in case.) These are my favourite images of the day:

Images from the Daily Mail 

William drove his bride from Buckingham Palace to Clarence House in his Dad's treasured Aston Martin.  According to ever-reliable source the Daily Mail, it was William's idea to drive it and Harry 'snuck in' to decorate it. Oh, Harry, you little (ginger) scamp! 

If yesterday's wedding didn't move you and/or you were one of the few who constantly updated your Facebook status making a point that you weren't watching it, then I can't be friends with you. YOU HAVE NO SOUL.

WILL-YUM AND CHEESE-KATE

Best Royal pun thus far goes to the English Cheesecake Company (because cheesecakes are very English) for their commemorative dessert. Describing it as 'a crunchy chocolate biscuit base with an edible milk chocolate Union Jack and two beautifully initialled love hearts - surrounded with heaps of milk and dark chocolate hearts' it sounds bloody delicious. I'll take a hefty slice.

Willi-Yum and Cheese-Kate, £26, English Cheesecake Company

And whilst I love cheesecake, I do actually prefer regular cheese. Especially if it's melted onto a pizza, which is where the next pizza memorabilia (geddit?) comes in. Papa John's worked with a food artist (best job ever?) to create an edible treat featuring the nation's (current) favourite sweethearts. Don't know about you but I fancy a bite of Kate. Mostly because she looks more vegetarian than Will. Check out that veil of mushrooms. Mmmmm...

Can't buy this, no no, can't buy this.

And last but not least, the Royal Wedding Pez dispensers. Yes, they exist. Not for you though. They were auctioned off last week. For £8200. If I had that kind of money I'd have definitely snapped them up. Maybe. Probably. Probably not actually.

I'll have a Pimms tomorrow in honour of the blushing bride and balding groom. Congrats yeah?

18 AND EAST

I'm going to keep this post short. I've just got back from Bikram, I'm exhausted and there's a cat mewing sadly on the roof below my window so I'm trying to guzzle chamomile tea whilst writing this whilst checking on the distressed cat. Whilst trying not to fall asleep. (I'm secretly hoping that the cat will find its way in my room while I sleep and I'll wake up and claim him as my pet.)

But anyway, where was I? Ah yes - 18 and East are a new fashion label based in...can you guess yet...? Can you? Can you? That's right - East London. Love it or hate it, many a great thing has come out of this area and it looks like 18 and East is one of those if their debut collection is anything to go by. I fell in love with this dress when I flicked through their lookbook and passed out for approximately 3 seconds when I realised how cheap it was.

Jersey belt dress, £25, 18 and East

Aside from the price, I like the print (anything that looks acid-washed/tie-dyed/looks like it will hide a ketchup stain is a favourite with me) and I love the fact that it looks like you can wear it with the belt at the front or the back, depending on how you feel. I'm off to buy it now from their website and I foresee me wearing it with tanned legs and chunky boots. So kind of like in their lookbook picture but with more St Tropez and less backward bending against bollards.

Check out the rest of their collection and their vintage clothing here.

PLUS use this code for 20% off your first purchase: INTRO20

(EASTER) BUNNY'S TOO TIGHT TO MENTION

Ah, Easter. My day consisted of hot cross buns, a frolic with my rabbits, the consumption of a Colin the Caterpillar egg, eating crisps again after my Lenten fast and a walk across the fields trying to work out where all the lambs have gone (please let them not be on your dinner plate).

I didn't get you an egg so here's a little treat for you. You like that? You'll love this. (Swear I spent most of my last few school years on that website.)

Happy Easter!

 

 

DOGS IN PANTS

I know, I know, I've done a dogs in human clothes post before but this takes the Bonio. My boss has a good eye for cat videos on You Tube and an inbuilt radar for cute-yet-comic-yet-also-mildly-disturbing images of general creaturedom, but she really surpassed herself when she forwarded the link for Pants for Dogs. As the name suggests, the site sells a variety of underwear for your canine companion - some with tail-holes, some without. The ones with tail-holes send waves of nausea through my body. Take a look for yourself:

And here we have the most disturbing picture of a poodle you will ever see:

Retinas. Ruined.

LINDA McCARTNEY - MORE THAN JUST FAKE SAUSAGES

The mention of Linda McCartney in my day-to-day life usually involves some sort of vegetarian sausage sandwich e.g. "I'm gonna get some Linda's out the freezer and have a sandwich" or perhaps, "What are you having for tea? I'm having a couple of Linda's and some mash." You get the picture. Her fingers of fake meat piss all over Quorn's. SORRY, BUT IT'S TRUE.

So anyway, I often forget that she had a life before a) death and b) frozen veggie fare. She was pretty darn good at taking photos, wasn't she? I like this one. I would like to take more photos like this:

This rather summery image of her husband was taken in Jamaica in 1971. Nice. So nice it made it into the final pile of photos that Mr McCartney and his kids chose to represent their wife and mother in a new book of her photos. So if you've got a spare £45 and are the sort of person who actually buys coffee table books rather than putting them on a 'I hope I somehow get this free 'cos I sure as hell can't afford it' list then go buy it. And lend (give) me a tenner while you're at it.

Linda McCartney: Life in Photographs, 

RRP £44.99, Taschen

'OWLING WITH LAUGHTER

I know, I know, hungover owls would be more appropriate for a Sunday but we've all seen those a million times. Let's bosh on with that postive mental attitude malarky and go for laughing owls. 'cos there ain't nothing cuter than a feathered friend laughing his beak off. Plus, a recent study by the University of Bullshit revealed that looking at images of chuckling creatures for just 3 mins had the same effect on a hangover as a fry-up and a glass of Berocca. So there you go.

 All pics from Damn Cool Pics

DOGBOARDING

I stole this from Holly who stole it from Jerry. My circle of BFFs has a 'sharing is caring' attitude. This sometimes extends to boys, but not often.


Dogboarding from DANIELS on Vimeo.

I love this video for many reasons - firstly, the music is beauts. Secondly, I have a thing for guys who openly show affection for dogs (men with babies can shit off.) Thirdly, the setting sun creates such a beautiful glow and reminds me of summer evenings. Fourthly, people who can actually skateboard well are pretty impressive. Fifthly - no animals were harmed in the making of the vid. Clearly; look at the way he gently kisses his pooch. Swoon.

Incidentally, Foster the People are playing Coachella tomorrow. It's not too late to whisk me off to the desert for the dregs of the festival you know. No? Hoooookay then, I'll just get on with salting my aubergines.

"DO IT LIKE AN EMDEN EMDEN HUH"

Pipe down Jessie J.

So it's taken me a while to bring myself to do this post as the bag you're about to see is di-to-the-vine but good GOD, the smug expression on this girl's face is too much to bear. Let's get her out the way first.

And now for the bag:

All pics from girlalamode

Obviously my distaste for her is just thinly veiled jealousy that a) she clearly has way more disposable income than me and b) she is in possession of a bag THAT I CANNOT FIND ANYWHERE. I need it. It reminds me of a tombstone. In a good way. Whatever, I just like it, don't make me explain, OKAY?

It's by Bracher Emden who (I'm not going to lie) aside from this beauty, have made some pretty hideous bags. And this gem is nowhere to be seen on the world wide web. So if you find one, holla. Better still, buy it for me.*

*Pay you back never.

HAIR OF THE DOG

Now it's often been said that I resemble an Afghan hound. I'd like to think it's because I have long wavy hair and a long nose and not because my breath honks of masticated Chappie. But either way, there are worse dogs to be compared to. (Rottweiler, for one.)

So when I saw these hair hats by Nagi Noda, I knew I'd finally found a hat style that would suit me. I tried to find out a bit more about her but her biography doesn't really make much sense. I'm not judging though - her first language isn't English and all I can do in her native tongue (Japanese) is count to 4. (Used to be able to count to 5 but I've forgotten it.)