No, not me, silly. Unless you tickle me senseless and I can't kick you away. Then and (hopefully) only then, there's a chance of me pissing on your bed.
What I'm actually referring to is this new Lazy Oaf greeting card design. Cat lovers everywhere will agree - this ain't slander, this be the truth. Maybe their next card will be 'I WILL RUN AROUND YOUR HOUSE WITH SHIT ON MY TAIL'. What d'ya think, Oafs?